Force to Be Reckoned With
by theshieldteam
Summary: Static Quake Halloween Prompt: There's an inter-base prank war going on and Static Quake may or may not just have the upper hand.


So I had so many ideas for Halloween and I loved them all dearly but as much as I wanted to write them _all_ I simply do not have the time.

This is the prompt-y thing my sister picked when I showed em to her so it's the one I went w/

Lincoln put his book down and stretched. He put his arms way up and closed his eyes, yawning and then making a noise of satisfaction and he felt his back crack. He glanced back down at his book and realized he'd absentmindedly folded a page corner instead of putting a bookmark in. He chided himself silently and grabbed a stray piece of paper from the side table.

He was picking up the book and then all of a sudden the book was on the couch and Daisy was in his lap, a hand over his mouth. He raised his eyebrows at her and gave what he hoped was a mildly-confused-and-slightly-pissed-off look. She just shook her head and didn't remove her hand from his mouth, casting furtive glances around the room as if she expected to see something pop out at her.

Finally she took her hand off his mouth.

"So, are you abducting me?" he asked innocently.

"No, don't be stupid. Have you seen Simmons or Fitz anywhere lately?"

"Why?"

" _Have you_?"

"No but –"

"They're probably planning the next one, then." she said grimly. Understanding dawned in Lincoln's head.

"Hang on – is this about that damn prank thing?" Daisy looked mildly offended.

"Prank thing? Lincoln, we're talking about the annual inter-base prank war of Halloween. Not something to take lightly."

Lincoln nodded, trying to keep the amusement off his face and probably failing.

"So are you planning anything?"

"Yes, and I need your help. They won't know you're involved yet. And you can't give it away, understand?"

"Hence all the secrecy, I'm guessing." Daisy nodded and got up off his lap, sitting on the couch next to him.

"Find out what they're planning and then we can move forward with the next phase." Lincoln let out a sound somewhere between a choke and a laugh against his will.

" _Phase?_ "

"Yeah, the –" she caught sight of the look on his face. "Oh, shut up." He cleared his throat and composed himself, then got up off the couch.

"Don't worry, director, I'm on it." he shot back at her with a wink. Daisy narrowed her eyes and Lincoln escaped from the room before she could annihilate him, laughing as he went.

Lincoln tiptoed as quietly as he could past Coulson's office. He was wearing the standard work-issued boots, which did make it a tad more difficult. He slid around the corner and cursed as those boots made a squeaking sound. _And people take these on missions? How do they pull off stealth missions if I can't even sneak around here?_

Suddenly, he heard quiet talking. They were male voices, coming from a bedroom a couple doors down the hallway. _Simmons and Fitz_ , he thought with a grin. Lincoln sidled up to the door frame and tilted his head.

"It's gotta be good."

"Oh yeah, definitely. Something possibly a notch above those ones you tried to pull on her a while back? When she first got here? I seem to remember it was a gas mask attached to a broom, popping out of a closet?"

Fitz mumbled something about incorrect details and how he was "young and naive".

"No, but seriously. What's something that would humiliate her, make her a bit sad – not too over the top though, we don't want a repeat of last year –"

Lincoln cocked his head with a side smile and made a mental note to ask Daisy about "last year".

"– and after all, we don't really want anything too over the top, I don't want to make Daisy upset –"

"Simmons, you need to calm down. It'll be fine. All's fair in love and prank war."

"Oooh. Wait! I have an idea!"

"Yeah?" Fitz seemed very excited about the whole thing.

"Didn't she spend quite a lot of time on that _pumpkin_? The one with Captain America's shield on it, with the rings carved out at different depths to make different shades or whatever."

Lincoln could almost hear the smile on Fitz's face growing.

"She did spend a couple hours on it, yeah."

"I'd say there might even be a bit of an emotional attachment."

"That's a strong possibility."

"It'd be a real shame if anything happened to that pumpkin, wouldn't it."

"A _real_ shame, for sure." There was a silence for a moment. Lincoln imagined they were both grinning like idiots at each other.

"So tell me, are you thinking like explosives or –"

Lincoln slid away from the door frame. His boot squeaked and he heard Simmons and Fitz fall silent. He turned and went as fast and quietly down the hall and rounded the corner a fraction of a second before Fitz's face poked out of the room. He glanced around for a minute, then went back inside, shutting the door behind him. Lincoln let out a huge breath he'd been holding and turned around to head back to Daisy, shaking his head as he did so.

 _This damn prank thing is out of control_.

Daisy nervously tapped her foot against the floor, eyes trained on the door. She checked her watch. It'd been over a half hour since Lincoln had gone to eavesdrop on Fitzsimmons, and he still hadn't returned.

Finally, he burst through the door, looking very pleased with himself.

"What's got you all cheerful? And did you hear anything useful?"

Lincoln stood up straighter and grinned.

"I might've heard something that could be of use."

"Well," Daisy raised her eyebrows and gestured with a hand, "what is it?"

"There's a small chance that they were going to destroy your Captain America pumpkin. You know, the one with the rings at different depths so the shades would be –"

"Yeah, yeah." She waved him off and turned away, thinking furiously, when something hit her. "Hang on, you said "were". They " _were_ " going to destroy my pumpkin? Are they not anymore?" Lincoln's grin grew wider.

"I don't think they will anymore, since I hid it."

"What?!" Daisy stood up off the couch and glared. "You _hid_ it?!" The smile slid right off his face.

"Should I not have?"

"Of course not! Do you even know how pranks work?" He frowned.

"Well, yeah, but I assumed you wouldn't want your pumpkin destroyed."

"I don't, of course." An expression of puzzlement replaced his frown.

"But then –" Daisy sighed.

"It's all in the politics, Lincoln. Sometimes to have to lose battles to win the war." Lincoln maintained the confused expression.

"Should I go get the pumpkin, then?"

"Yes! And put it back where it was, by all the others." He shrugged.

"Mmkay." He turned abruptly and began to run down the hallway again. Daisy let out a sigh of exasperation and flopped back down on the couch.

When Lincoln returned a moment later, looking defeated, she sat straight back up again.

"That was quick." His grin popped back up.

"Huh. Maybe I'm the new Quicksilver."

"Maybe." Daisy mumbled, thoughts racing through her head. Lincoln's eyebrows creased.

"You know I was joking, right?"

"Yes, I do. However, I have an incredible idea forming in my head right now so I'm gonna need you to shut up, okay?"

Lincoln mimed zipping his lips shut.

Around 5 minutes later, he unzipped them.

"Okay, the suspense is killing me. What's your idea?" Daisy glanced up and gave a mischievous smile.

"Let's just say Quicksilver's gonna have to move pretty fast for this one."

Simmons tapped her foot against the floor vigorously, glancing from what Fitz was doing over to the door.

"I still don't think this is a good idea."

"Jemma, it was _your_ idea."

"Well we'll say I'm feeling just a _touch_ of regret now. What if it's too over the top? That's exactly what I was terrified of! What if she's heartbroken?" Fitz gave a very un-Fitz-like giggle as he lifted up Daisy's pumpkin, looking at it from all angles to make sure it looked inconspicuous.

"D'you think she will be? That'll be revenge for colouring the eyepiece of the microscope. I had a black ring around my eye for a week, Jemma. If she _cries,_ it'll be worth it. She probably won't, though."

"Oh dear, I hope she doesn't cry." Simmons paused for a minute, pondering the whole situation. "I will say, it's quite a good plan though." Fitz put down the pumpkin, turned to Simmons and grinned.

"It really is, isn't it." Simmons grinned back.

Suddenly, they heard footsteps from down the hall

"Quick!" Fitz hissed. "Hide!" Simmons dove under the desk and Fitz slipped behind a couch milliseconds before Hunter came into the room.

"Just you, then. It's just Hunter, Simmons." Fitz stood up. Hunter raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"Expecting someone else?

"You could say that."

Hunter glanced over at the desk.

"You can come out, Simmons. I'm not a threat to whatever the hell you're – hang on, is this part of the prank war?"

Fitz remained silent, confirming Hunter's suspicion.

"Well, let me help! I'm guessing you're pranking Daisy, since her pumpkin's on the table?"

Simmons deflated a bit as she rose up from behind the desk.

"Is it really that obvious?" Hunter paused.

"Well yeah, kind of. You gotta make it look normal. Placing it on the middle of the only table in the room when it's _not_ amidst other pumpkins does look a tad suspicious."

He lifted the pumpkin off the table and walked over to where the other pumpkins were. He placed it towards the edge and turned it slightly.

"There, now you can't tell it's anything more than a pumpkin." He turned to Fitz. "Oh, yeah. What is it? You know, aside from a pumpkin?"

"A bomb." Fitz said nonchalantly. Hunter raised his eyebrows and automatically took a step away from the table. Jemma chuckled.

"Well, something _close_ to a bomb, anyways. You'll see when Daisy comes in and goes near –"

"– I've got this button trigger right here –" Fitz interrupted her.

"– And basically, boom." Jemma interrupted Fitz, shooting him a look.

Hunter nodded and took another step away from the table.

"Relax, nothing's gonna happen until she shows up anyways."

"Which should be –" Simmons checked her watch, "– Fitz, that's any moment now. We'd better hide or something."

Daisy strode down the hallway, humming to herself as she glanced around, looking for Fitzsimmons anywhere. Nobody showed. The base seemed to be almost dead quiet. She grasped the small sewing needle she had in her palm.

Suddenly, Lincoln rounded the corner and crashed into her. He was breathing hard and tried to get words out, hands on his knees.

"Fitzsimmons – Hunter – pumpkin – idea!" Daisy's eyebrows creased.

"Hunter joined their team?" Lincoln swallowed hard and nodded, still bent over. "What's this about an idea?" Lincoln stood up and coughed.

"Um, I can extend your little revenge idea to Hunter as well."

"How?" she asked, confusion still on her face.

"Beer," he said, a faint smile slipping onto his face. Daisy grinned back and jumped up to her toes, kissing him on the cheek.

"I'm so glad you're on my team," she said. "Now go!" Daisy gave him a smack on the shoulder and pointed over her shoulder, down the hallway she had just come from. Lincoln nodded, swallowed hard again and began to jog down the hallway past her.

Daisy turned back towards the hallway ahead and began to walk towards the lounge area, where the pumpkins were. She slid the sewing needle further up her palm and kept it there, hanging her hand down so nothing looked out of the ordinary.

She peeked in through the door frame. Nobody was in sight, but she could hear a small scuffling noise coming from behind the desk. She smiled to herself, then stood up straight, cleared her throat, and changed her posture to that of one with ease and relaxation. She went into the room carefully, avoiding looking anywhere near the desk and heading only straight towards the pumpkins.

Hunter entered the room behind her, acting very nonchalantly.

"Oh hey, Daisy. What are you doing?" Dear lord, this man might go undercover all the time, but with a prank war on the line? He couldn't act to save his life.

"Nothing, really," she responded brightly. "Just thought I'd look at all the pumpkins again. I'm proud of mine, you know." The flinch was very visible on Hunter's face as soon as the word "pumpkin" came out of her mouth. Then he cleared his face of emotion and nodded.

"Well, you do that. I'm gonna be over here, on the couch," he said, pointing.

Daisy shrugged and nodded, heading over to the table. She picked up her pumpkin, looking at it but not really paying attention. Her ears were trained on the desk area.

Sure enough, as soon as she put her pumpkin down, she heard a sharp intake of breath from the desk. She turned around, and saw Hunter crouched below the couch cushions with his hands over his head. She frowned.

"What'cha doing down there, Hunter?" He didn't reply, but only remained in his little turtle-like protection shell.

Then she heard a click noise from behind the desk. Nothing happened. She raised an eyebrow and looked over at Hunter, who had raised his head from behind the couch, looking confused.

That's when the pumpkin exploded.

Chunks of orange were raining everywhere, including all over Daisy and Hunter, who had once again retracted into his little arm-shield. The stray bits of pumpkin goop Daisy had missed when she had carved the pumpkin were now flung about the room, covering the couches and sliding down through the indents in the wall where the bricks were put together. Her dark clothes looked indeed very Halloween-y, what with the muck from the pumpkin adding orange to black.

Hunter slowly extracted himself from behind the couch and looked around in wonder.

"Blimey, when you said bomb, you really meant it," he said, looking expectantly at the desk. Fitz rose up from behind it, flicking a stray orange bit from his shoulder and holding a small remote. Simmons came as well, grinning sheepishly but also looking rather proud.

"You okay?" she asked Daisy.

Daisy took a deep breath and started to cry.

Fitz's eyes widened and Simmons hit him hard on the shoulder, hissing; "You said she wouldn't cry!"

"I said she _probably_ wouldn't!" Simmons sighed and tentatively walked over to where Daisy was standing, still covered in the corpse of her beloved pumpkin.

"Daisy, I'm sorry. We were – um – it was just a bit of fun."

Daisy pressed the sewing needle harder into her palm, eliciting more tears and a little yelp that she hoped Jemma mistook for a sob.

"My – beautiful – pumpkin!" she choked out, cracking open an eye to make sure the attention was trained on her. Hunter and Fitz were still looking bewildered and a bit frightened. _Good,_ she thought, still crying as hard as she could. She sent a small prayer to Lincoln, hoping he'd be able to move as fast as she thought.

Lincoln flopped down on a stool in the kitchen, kicking his feet up onto the table. _Probably shouldn't be here,_ he thought. _Usually you're supposed to stay away from the scene of the crime. Oh, well. Too late now,_ he added as Fitzsimmons and Hunter walked into the kitchen. Fitz looked furious as hell along with Simmons. Hunter just looked mildly amused.

"You _toiled-papered_ the _lab_?!" Fitz said accusingly. "Of all the immature things –"

"Who says it was me?" Lincoln said calmly, grabbing a bag of chocolate chips that were sitting on the table and popping a few into his mouth.

"Oh pu _lease_." Simmons said, eyes rolling. "Who more likely to work with Daisy than her _boyfriend_? Plus, everyone else was either accounted for or on _our_ team." Hunter chuckled and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"Speaking of which," Fitz started angrily, "why didn't you do anything to Hunter? He was on our team too, but somehow it was only our lab that was harmed."

"Oh right, Hunter was working with you guys." Lincoln tried to sound as sincere as he could. "Revenge on him would've been nice, but I guess I just –" Hunter spat out a huge mouthful of beer onto the table and made an angry noise. "– forgot." Lincoln finished, smiling with satisfaction.

"What the _hell_ is this?!" Hunter slammed the beer down on the table.

"Thank the lord for twist-off caps, hmm? You can put 'em right back on again, and nobody'll ever know you took them off in the first place!"

Hunter wiped his sleeve over his tongue.

"And to answer your question, it's vinegar."

" _Vinegar?_ "

"Among other things?"

"What other things?" Lincoln shrugged and smiled popping another handful of chocolate chips into his mouth.

"I didn't pay much attention to what I was pouring in. I don't think you'll die though, there definitely wasn't any bleach in there." Hunter looked like he was about to strangle someone as he walked over to the sink and poured his beer – well – vinegar down the drain.

Daisy skipped into the kitchen, wearing clean clothes.

"Did you do it?" Her gaze was on Lincoln

"You can ask them yourself," he said as he gestured to the fuming Fitzsimmons. She grinned and went over to him, sitting on his lap.

"Hunter, too." Lincoln added. Daisy glanced up at the man who was now furiously grabbing another beer from the fridge. Lincoln winked at her as Hunter once again spat a mouthful onto the table.

"Christ, are they _all_ contaminated?"

"I dunno," Lincoln said, feigning intense thought. "There might be one or two I didn't touch. You should go through them all, you'll probably find one eventually." Hunter was shooting daggers from his eyes. Daisy was laughing hard, but she toned it down to a smile to kiss Lincoln. When she pulled away, she made a thoughtful face.

"You know, we make a pretty good team."

"We do indeed," he agreed.

"I wonder if they'll retaliate. There's a bit of a threat to you, now that they know you're on my team." Daisy gave a worried glance to Fitzsimmons and Hunter, now conversing in a violent ton ein the corner.

"Let 'em come. We're a force to be reckoned with, I say."

"That we are." He kissed her again.


End file.
